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Why I stopped putting my children first

May 9, 2020 20 Comments

beautiful black women

I remember in my youth, pre-children days, my grandmother telling me, “Once you have children, you ...

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Would you even believe it... if I told you that I

Would you even believe it...

if I told you that I wasn’t voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in high school?

Is it my fault that they got it wrong? Absolutely not.

Here are 3 things I do on a daily to ensure that I succeed:

1. Pray: I don’t tackle the journey alone. I’m sure to pray for a great heart and mind knowing He will help me do the rest. And when I’m slipping, I pray He’s not too harsh to get me back on track.

2. Mind my own business: It’s one of the easiest thing I can advise you to do as well. I don’t give advice if people don’t ask and I stay in my lane. It keeps me at peace and tunnel visioned to the success.

3. Drink my water: Chyyyy when I tell you ain’t nothing like getting to success with clear skin. 🤷🏽‍♀️ When I drink my water, everything else just feels better.

Just because someone else doesn’t think you will succeed, means that it’s true.

Now go out and achieve what you’re meant to. He won’t deny us what He has promised.

📸: @dmariephotographyga

Some things you have to learn to be ok with. One

Some things you have to learn to be ok with.

One thing I’m big on is relationships. And I’m learning you will not, can not, and won’t have one with everyone.

If the relationship is draining you, take this as the message to LET IT GO! Everyone doesn’t deserve access to you.

Share if this resonated with you. Save for the constant reminder.

Why is nobody talking about it? Parenting is pro

Why is nobody talking about it?

Parenting is probably the hardest job I have. 😩I’ve had to really reflect and acknowledge that I’ve given my children more than they can appreciate.

“How can I fix it now?” has been what I’ve asking myself all weekend.

I feel so defeated a lot of days.

Drop your best parenting advice in the comments. A sister needs help. 🤦🏽‍♀️

📸: @dmariephotographyga

All of this from @browngirlsandco @bossbabe.inc 👇🏽
・・・
Mood: staying in competition with myself and using that as fuel to move faster in my own lane.✨

What would you tell your single self? I remember

What would you tell your single self?

I remember literally dying to be married. As little girls we dream of the fairy tale wedding, right?

I often think of that time in my life and I think of what I would tell that girl.

Here’s what I’ve come up with.

1. Travel the world....SOLO!
2. Learn to love being by yourself for yourself.
3. Be comfortable dating yourself.
4. Never compete with another for the attention of a mate.
5. Set boundaries and stick with them.
6. Don’t rush motherhood.
7. Don’t rush marriage.
8. Invest, invest, invest.
9. Don’t carry debt.
10. Take your health seriously.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my husband but the journey we took to get to where we are was one that challenged us both. It was worth it BUT we both acknowledge wanting different for our children.

What are some things you’d tell your single self?

Share your story! Happy Valentine’s Day! 🥰

Share your story!

Happy Valentine’s Day! 🥰

First date? He took me to a park after a movie. Totally romantic, now scary after watching crime stories. Clearly we were invincible.

How long have y’all been together? 20 years in August. Married 8 years

Age difference? 1 year, 3 months. He’s older.

Who was interested first? Him. I was newly single and a hot commodity. 😜

Who is taller? Him

Who said I love you first? Me but he said it back knowing he didn’t. 🤣He denies it.

Most impatient? Me by a landslide

Most sensitive? Me. I wear my heart on my sleeve. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Loudest? Neither of us is loud unless we’re comfortably around OUR crew.

Most stubborn? Me naturally. I’m a Taurus.

Falls asleep first? Me; suffering from chronic fatigue

Cooks the best? Cooks? I’ll hqve a chef when I get to the bank.

Better morning person? Me. I like 5am wake-ups when I can and feel well rested.

Better driver? Me but he’ll say him. 🙄Men, you know how y’all do.

Most competitive? Him.

Who is funnier? Him....but I’ll say my whit is because of him. I’ve gotten too good ar comebacks. Ha!

Where do you eat out most as a couple? 🤔Since going vegan, probably Chipotle (but I’m a @moessouthwestgrill girl at ❤️)

Who is more social? Him for sure. I’m a lone wolf.

Who is the neat freak? Me.

Where was your first kiss? At school before football and band practice. It was like an accidental kiss. Ha!

Who initiated your first kiss? He leaned on in as he reached for something behind my back.

How long did it take to get serious? A couple months maybe. It was so long ago and during the time that people “talked”.

Plans date night? More me but he’s getting better.

Who picks where you go to dinner? It’s a toss up!

Who has more tattoos? Him...for now. 😏

Did you go to the same school? Same high school but different colleges.

Who drives when you are together? He loves to drive. 🤷🏽‍♀️

📸: @dmariephotographyga

National #blacklove day? Say less. Did you know

National #blacklove day? Say less.

Did you know that in 2020, it was found that only about 38% of black women were married and more than 70% were unmarried?

I’ve always questioned this. I use to think our lists of wants was too long. I use to say, “Girllll, you’re being unrealistic about what you want.” Tuh!

Now! Now I say, “Keep your list! Don’t settle for less than you feel you deserve.”

In a world, where societal norm leads one to believe that black love is rare, I’m happy to showcase genuine BLACK love.

My husband and I are #happilymarried and are proof what hard work looks like.

So on today, know that #blackloveisdope and that #blackloveisreal. And that we, as black people, are worthy of untraumatic love. 😉

📸: @dmariephotographyga

I’ve hesitated all day to share this. Really.

I’ve hesitated all day to share this. Really.

But....

Why don’t people want to acknowledge the reality that black people are often mistreated in predominantly non-black places?

We are very accustomed to it so we don’t generally acknowledge it but that doesn’t mean we don’t see.

She’s tired. She’s weary. But she will press onward. I am she.

Save this if you find it helpful because He revealed it to me just in the moment I needed it most. 🙏🏽And keep me lifted in prayers.

Carousel by @toya.kanza posted for George Floyd

It’s not a secret that I’m about the moolah, d

It’s not a secret that I’m about the moolah, dinero, money. 😏

My son can tell you what about assets, liabilities, interest, and loans. He’s 9. A big thing about changing your mindset, going from a broke mindset to a wealth mindset, is instilling that shift in your children. I’m working hard to teach my children all the possibilities that weren’t taught to me. That includes approving his dreams of not working all his life.

Are you talking to your children about money? 👀

There’s a time and a place, right? The line is

There’s a time and a place, right?

The line is so fine between being a boss with a sweet temperament and a boss with a strong personality. People are much more receptive of men when they’re in power positions than men {learning that in a women’s entrepreneurship program I’m in}. I’m learning to find balance in entrepreneurship and grow into a leader in all positions I hold.

Why are women less received in power positions? 🤔

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