5 Things I’ve Learned Since Having Kids

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There are many pieces of advice given to you when everyone knows you’re expecting but truth is, there’s so much that you don’t remember it all. Having children is a constant learning experience. And just when you think you have it figured out, it’s time to seek out new answers to, yet, more questions. Some people make parenting look easy but there are times that I feel it’s a struggle.

As your child’s first teacher, you want to be sure that you’re setting a great example. What you instill in them will be carried into their adulthood and parenthood. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you don’t have all the answers or that you feel you’re not doing it right. We know that in today’s world, resources are easily available. Use them frequently. 

I’ve learned many things during the 9 years I’ve been a mother. Becoming a mother has been on my life’s greatest joy.. Some days are difficult but it’s all worth it. Most days, I know that I’m a better woman because I am a mom.  

I’ve learned 5 important things since becoming a mom, and I want to share them with you. 

1. To Not Take for Granted Having Healthy Children

Working in the neonatal ICU, I frequently remind myself that I have health children. People take their healthy children for granted. I don’t think it’s intentional. I simply think that unless you’ve had a sick child, you find it un-relateable. Some days I have to remind myself to be grateful for the noise because it means that my children can talk. Or to be grateful for the loud feet through the halls because it means my children can walk and run. It’s the smallest things that I have to remind myself of because I know out in the world somewhere, a mother (or father) would switch children with me in a second.

2. That A Mother’s Job is Never Done

I literally am parenting around the clock 24/7, 365 days a year. A mother’s job is never done. It can be especially difficult if you’re a mother that works outside of the home. I’m considering outsourcing things to save myself some time. In the busyness of life, time is golden. 

I don’t know about you but I serve as my family’s administrator. Just when I think the job’s done, there’s more. I’m responsible for keeping up with meal planning, household matters, the children’s whereabouts, and my schedule too. I get exhausted just thinking about my many jobs and tasks. 

3. That Childhood Trauma Effects the Way You Parent

I have had to be honest with myself and acknowledge that the way I was raised has had a profound impact on my behavior in parenting. That’s not a good thing, which is why I took a class to be better. I am for not perpetuating cycles I feel are unhealthy. I have set parenting goals and have a running list of things I could be better at. 

If you feel that your childhood impacts the way that you parent be sure to seek help. It’s never too late to get mental health and make changes for the sake of your children. And it’s never too soon to make a change if you feel one needs to be made. Check out this book to understand the significance of breaking the cycle of your trauma.

4. That You Are Your Child’s Biggest Advocate 

Being your child’s biggest advocate relates to many things. You can be your child’s advocate in things such as education and healthcare. As parents, we have to learn to speak up for our children in a healthy way. This is particularly revelant now during the pandemic (Covid-19).  Advocating for them teaches them to use their own voice when needed. If there’s something that you don’t know, don’t hesitate to ask someone. You best advocate for your child(ren) when you are well informed. Remember, no one loves your child more than you. 

5. That Your Children Love You Unconditionally

I don’t know about anyone else but I love the unconditional love my children give me. I can be having a bad day where I’m being short with them and they still tell me they love me and that I’m the best mommy in the world. How amazing is that? Children display a love like no other, and I’m so grateful for it. Their display of unconditional love helps me focus on being a better mother because they deserve it. The haven of home with your children who are not judging you is priceless.

Motherhood can be a difficult journey. Give yourself grace on your hard days because I know that you’re doing the best that you can.  Remember that you’re built for it. The time with our children passes too quickly so be sure to enjoy them. It won’t be long before we’re on the outside looking in as they journey the roads of parenting for themselves.